1. Advertising geared toward children and their exhausted parents is annoying and relentless.
2. Nostalgia, like most trends, is cyclical.
- 2a. Some franchises—Scooby-Doo, Looney Tunes, DC heroes, and apparently Furby—just won’t die.
- 2b. The balance of shitty and excellent shows is basically the same.
- 2c. There are still lots of games to play online. (I was fond of a Powerpuff Girls snowboarding game many years ago. With some searching, I was able to find it! Fast and Flurrious.)
3. “Sexy” and female cleavage feature sometimes in the more “mature” shows, Regular Show and Adventure Time, which is initially shocking. But in retrospect, The Ren & Stimpy Show was ridiculously worse.
- 3a. The male mammaries that are shown are far more disturbing.
4. The Adult Swim lineup definitely used to be better.
- 4a. Not enough of Adult Swim’s games are available on Android.
Sometimes I feel like the only adult who’s a picky eater. It seems like a description usually reserved for children throwing tantrums in restaurants, and while I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember, I still have quite the narrow palette.
It’s pretty embarrassing to have frequent internal debates about something as basic as food: Do I say something about the food to the person who prepared it, or do I find a way to quietly, discreetly dispose of/waste it? To speak up about a dish’s relative inedibility is not only potentially offensive, but feels like a confession of a strange, juvenile flaw.
Being a picky eater is like having OCD in your mouth (and nose). Smell, taste, texture, and temperature can’t be too far from perfect without inducing gagging. It’s almost akin to (but, obviously, nowhere near as serious or devastating as) an eating disorder. It’s enough to worry whether my mouth is going to be like this forever. There are some damn good-looking foods I can’t bear to taste, and I feel like I’m missing out. Hell, it’d be nice to just not have to order everything “plain” (something that gets fucked up way too often).
Am I the only one out there who eats like someone a third their age??
p.s. I have a really long winter break. Two months long. That’s probably enough time to edit a set of photos.
I have a lot of photos to take and edit and upload and write about, but suffice it to say, I’ve got some purchases from the past few weeks that I haven’t shared my thoughts on yet. (Teaser: Lancôme, MAC, Maybelline, Milani, Revlon, Sally Hansen.)
As summer gets nearer, things paradoxically both slow down and get busier. I have a package to send out (I haven’t forgotten about you, fellow redditor!), a package to receive, things to find, dresses and shoes to put on, lists to compile, even more things to purchase and review and use (I’m planning [no sure bets] on getting my hands on some ELF, OCC, Sugarpill, Inglot, and RBL), tests to take, a buttface to not-so-secretly resent, furniture to shop for, appointments to attend, a dog to cater to, issues to work out, cleaning to do, and maybe–next month–a cake to eat. Perhaps, then, I can relax fully, at least until August.
fuuuuuuck, can’t i just stay in bed…
Filed under: Humor, Writing | Tags: get off my lawn, teenagers, the motto, yolo, you only live once
I jumped on the bandwagon of telling people my own age to get off my lawn a long time ago. Here, we continue driving.
You Only Live Once…unless you’re Hindu. But then, you’re probably not too concerned with coming up with excuses for partying; you’re too busy writing poems for cows. And even if you’re not Hindu, you might believe in some form of everlasting life. But I digress.
YOLO is the current bane of my young existence. These fucking kids, man. You actually don’t need a motive to have fun beside the fact that it’s fun per se. What are you trying to prove, and to who? It’s not a valid reason for anything except You Only Die Once.
Filed under: Beauty, Nail Polish | Tags: blue, green, jesse's girl, nail polish, nails, purple, revlon, wet n wild, will the punny polish names never end?
Pinkie—index: The polishes referenced in the title. Thumb: 207 by Inglot over Macbeth by Butter London; lighting: ambient indoors
So I finally got around to buying more stuff to swatch (makeup is expensive and food is more fulfilling in the short term, okay?). I ended up with three nail polishes today from CVS, and a while ago two nail polishes that I completely forgot to swatch from Rite Aid, and now that I think about it, two more polishes from Rite Aid that I never posted my swatches of. Crap. Well, I’m not changing the title now.
[time lapse while I edit photos] Oh, yeah. This is going to be long and picture-heavy. (Isn’t it always?) (more…)
Filed under: Miscellaneous
Here are a few posts and articles that’ve caught my eye recently. Enjoy!
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Breasts according to Beauty Woo Me (as an owner of boobs, I approve of Kate Upton)
PARTY HARD via the L.A. Times (I went to this show…everything said in the article is true. And I got a drumstick out of it)
MAC’s By Request collection at Temptalia and Scrangie (I already know what I want. Now, to get money)
Sephora + Pantone = an orange-er theNotice (graphic design and makeup in one!)
Bucholz continues to be insane over at Cracked (comedy writing is now my dream job)
Models are tortured souls, admits theNotice (I still have a latent desire for that, despite it all)
ReBeLs knows their colors: Swatches at Scrangie and All Lacquered Up (I have been looking for that perfect blue forever—IKB:2012 is the one)
And on a final and more serious note, the SPLC is full of shit.
Filed under: Humor, Miscellaneous, Writing | Tags: cat, catdog, dog, ludicrous, preposterous, ridiculous, something else ending in -ous, the neverending debate, the neverending story...FAAALCOOOOOR
I found this collecting dust with my unpublished, unfinished rough drafts. It’s a few months old, so some of it’s a bit passé, but I decided to polish it up. If you want more of this type of writing, I highly recommend Cracked.
In the interest of transparency, I would like to preface this debate [with myself] by saying that I am a well-established “dog person.” Let the transcripts show it. (Is that what they say in court? I haven’t watched Judge Judy, People’s Court, et cetera since my family got cable in 2009 Thanksgiving. That’s how old this post was, y’all.) I will try to not let this affect my journalistic attempts to chronicle the virtues and vices of canines and felines. (Does “and” have any synonyms? I feel as if I think I know I’m being redundant.)
Now, to retcon any and, especially, all fair and balanced coverage promises: Dogs are fuckin’ awesome. Shit, yo. They need their own overenthusiastic advertisement.
Dogs. Do I even need to tell you why they’re humans’ best friends? Just look at the word “dog.” (No, not because it’s “God” backwards, pamphlet-giver.) Now say it. Now look back to “dog.” This is the word “cat” could be, but isn’t, because cats smell terrible. My point is, “cat” is a fucking asshole of a word. “Dog” is laid-back and chill as fuck. You have to contort your face to say “cat,” with its sharp consonants and annoying vowel; not so with “dog.” Just say it, then lay back in your armchair and relax. Smooth, like silk. (Or a dog’s coat. ‘Cuz you can wash it.)
You, the reader who has few social skills and even fewer friends, interject [rudely]: “Of course cats are assholes. They’re independent and smart and skilled predators. Dogs just lay around and chase their tails and chew their balls.”
Well, reader–I, for one, am offended by your blatant disregard for potheads’ cultural customs. Regardless, cats aren’t even “smarter” than dogs (thanks for including sources for your information).
As for your cat being a skilled predator…. What, for more feline marijuana? You hypocrites disgust me. At any rate, you know what being skilled predators makes them? Ninja. Utterly deplorable.
Now that I have established that dogs are lovable pirates with eensy, adorable, peg legs, let me denounce cats further, because I felt the need to segue into the exact same topic.
Cats are quite simply not as cute as dogs. No bullshit, straight-up, 100% pure, uncut cocaine.
Catnip is a gateway drug.
Have you seen those cats with the flat faces? My God. They’re not adorable, they’re fucking pitiful. Upon glancing at them, I almost want to put them out of their teary-eyed misery, just so no one has to clean their inbred faces again. Also, tigers (which are cats) are one of two mammalian species whose young are less cute than the adults. The other species? Kangaroos, because kangaroo babies are still alien jelly bean fetuses attached to monumentally long nipples (the hentai I had to sit through to find that). Anyway, fuck cats.
So, to play Devil’s advocate (Al Pacino, not Keanu Reeves), why are cats cool? Because they are evil. Pure motherfucking undercover evil. Now, almost everyone I reveal this to thinks I am crazy, so let me present this simplistic argument to your simple mind: Do Bond villains have pet dogs? No, they damn well do not. They simply do not. Who did the ancient Egyptians, oppressors of Moses and possibly Jesus Himself, worship? Cats. (Who do Hindus worship? Cows, who are very obvious in their wish to greenhouse us with farts, which is adorable indirect.)
And, what is bad about dogs? Let me rack my brain.
…
If you don’t take care of them, they suffer, and you feel guilty forever.
