Author Archives: Helena

About Helena

I'm too Internet-old for this.

Makeup Look: I’m Not Really an Egyptian

(Apparently legally required disclaimer: None of the products mentioned in this post were provided to me by any company for review purposes, and there are no affiliate links. One product was acquired through a giveaway, and the rest were either … Continue reading

Posted in Beauty, Makeup | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

What’s Living Without Motivation Like?

Great question, hypothetical reader! First, I want to share with you the inspiration for this post: struggling to help people understand [my] mental illness. Second, I want to share with you these two posts by Allie Brosh about her depression. … Continue reading

Posted in Personal, Serious Business, Writing | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments


It’s been a while! Like over a year. Sorry about that, anyone who stuck around for some reason or another. I’m lazier than ever and wish Big Pharma would invent the motivation pill, but they haven’t yet. So here’s a … Continue reading

Posted in Beauty, Makeup, Nail Polish, Personal | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Things You Learn from Watching Cartoon Network Every Day

1. Advertising geared toward children and their exhausted parents is annoying and relentless. 2. Nostalgia, like most trends, is cyclical. 2a. Some franchises—Scooby-Doo, Looney Tunes, DC heroes, and apparently Furby—just won’t die. 2b. The balance of shitty and excellent shows … Continue reading

Posted in Miscellaneous | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Slim Pickings

Sometimes I feel like the only adult who’s a picky eater. It seems like a description usually reserved for children throwing tantrums in restaurants, and while I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember, I still have … Continue reading

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YOLO Is Fucking Ludicrous

I jumped on the bandwagon of telling people my own age to get off my lawn a long time ago. Here, we continue driving. You Only Live Once…unless you’re Hindu. But then, you’re probably not too concerned with coming up … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Writing | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Swatch Skittles: Wet n Wild and Revlon

So I finally got around to buying more stuff to swatch (makeup is expensive and food is more fulfilling in the short term, okay?). I ended up with three nail polishes today from CVS, and a while ago two nail … Continue reading

Posted in Beauty, Nail Polish | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment