No, really, this is getting excessive.

Things I have bought or otherwise acquired recently:

Pic-spam and commentary for your enjoyment after the jump. (No, seriously, this post is really long. That’s to warn you, not entice you.)

First, the polishes. Yes, I am shameless and bought a Graphite dupe. Okay, I don’t know if Carbonite is a straight-up duplicate, but I got it for less than $2.40 with Rite-Aid’s Wellness discount (nail polish, for your health!), and I don’t know how it’d stack up against Temptalia’s rating system, but it’s quality. It had almost perfect coverage in one coat and dried to the touch very quickly–I put one coat on of it and Po5G, took a few shots of them, and it was dry enough for a second coat by the time I’d been done photographing. It shows the texture of my nail beds a bit, though, so I’d recommend a ridge-filling base coat (or buffing your nails, but I’m not a big fan of buffing myself). The sheen of it (pre-top coat) is, indeed, reminiscent of when I’m bored in class and draw on my nails with my pencil. (Don’t judge me until your economics teacher wears Crocs.)

Po5G is also a “dupe,” except…it’s not a duplicate. It’s an imitator of Happy Birthday, but if you have a makeup maven’s eye, you’ll notice immediately that they’re different. I’ve never even tried on Happy Birthday, but Po5G seems sparser, with different colors and amounts of glitter (notably, there is less small glitter in Po5G). This, too, dried quickly, though, and it was built for layering, so I can’t notch it down for not being full-coverage. I do have to say that the brush had a stray hair poking out of the crowd–which  I’ll just cut off–and that the polish bubbled. I couldn’t see the bubbling with my own eyes (which I blame more on my bedroom’s lighting than my eyesight), but my camera made it readily apparent. Next time I apply it, I’ll be careful to not shake it beforehand; hopefully, that will mitigate any bubbling. The polish does have a small amount of texture to it, but it’s nothing that top coat can’t fix, and I assume that removal won’t be too much of a bother, since the glitter is relatively scant and mostly larger in size. (Also, this line of nail polishes has a gorgeous, glowy purple called Buffy the Violet Slayer. Umm, hello…you’re next on my list.)

Next up is the Lip Flash. Before I even go into the product itself, I want to mention the name of it. Lip Flash. Okay, that’s…strange, like my lips are a set of pervs in a trench coat, but okay. But then…but then. One of the Lip Flash shades?

Hot Flash.


Back to the makeup. When I was in CVS, looking at these (and forgetting to buy more makeup wipes, which I ran out of a long time ago), I was of course drawn to News Flash, because it’s dark and vampy and purple and whatnot. I picked it up. But then, I noticed the eponymous one above it…and saw this brownness:

Now, as you can guess from the Photoshopped-ness of the swatches on Milani’s (and most companies’) website, they are not very accurate swatches at all, and thus useless. So I went Googling for actual swatches, and noticed, HOLY SHIT, LIP FLASH IS FUCKING GORGEOUS. It reminds me of MAC’s Oh, Oh, Oh, not only because of what ends up on your lips (although Lip Flash is more intense and awesome), but how it looks like a bronze statue’s poop in the tube. So, if you wanted the MAC, but it’s too expensive, or it’s sold-out, or it’s too sheer: Say hello to Lip Flash. At CVS it was about 7 bucks, so that’s half the price of MAC. You’re welcome.

Two more things that Lip Flash (the product, not the shade) is similar to: MAC’s Dare to Wear Lipglasses (as pointed out by Cora in this video), which are not available anymore, and Urban Decay’s Super-Saturated High Gloss Lip Colors, which are not available yet, as of writing.

My skin, still really bad; photographing lip swatches, still really difficult

Lip Flash, of its own merit, is a good product. Besides being gorgeous, it’s easy-to-use, and inexpensive. I wore it for several hours a few nights ago while staying up on the Internet being a loser, so it has good wear. Cons: The cap comes off a bit easily, and I’m wary of mashing it down too hard to circumvent that for fear that the cap will break (happens a lot with plastic caps, at least on eyeliners…); smells and tastes a bit strange, although if you don’t make duckface or lick your lips, you won’t notice; sharpening could be wasteful, so I’m planning on freezing it before I sharpen.

On to the blushes. The sad part about this is that I also wanted to get Santorini and Scandalous, but they’ve been discontinued. I hate that, man…. Oh, well. I still got these!

If you asked me why I got Aruba, which is no-holds-barred, shameless, in-your-face orange, I couldn’t tell you. I wanted it, that’s why, but there’s really no reason besides “I didn’t have this color of blush” (which is why I wanted Santorini and Scandalous, incidentally). You see, my blush collection lags behind everything else, which I felt was stifling my artistic choices. On my face. Yeah, I sound like an asshole, because it’s blush, but whatever.

Left to right, the swatches are of Flushed, Sunrise, and Aruba (obviously). Okay, look at Sunrise. Absolutely fantastic, right? Here’s the pan.

Okay, that doesn’t look so bad, but when I opened it up it my bedroom’s lighting (WHICH I STILL HATE, I HATE YOU), I wondered why the hell I bought brown blush. I’m serious; Looking at it right now, it looks brown. What I’m trying to say (horror movie-style, as in, “Dude, I’m serious, that fucking ghost was JUST IN HERE before I screamed for you to see it!!!!!”) is that it coordinates perfectly with Lip Flash.

Flushed is matte/satin-finish, with a softer payoff; Sunrise is obviously a shimmer and can go from 0 to 60; Aruba is matte, and I’d recommend a light hand, lest you accidentally go overboard, or you want to look like this (SORRY FRIEND-OF-A-FRIEND CHICK but yo cheeks is orange). I can’t comment on the wear, so I’ll mention the shipping of my Sleek package instead: Awesome. 10-day international shipping was 10 dollars (sad face, although I appreciate the…symmetry?), so I assumed I’d be waiting ten business days (about two weeks) for my order. I was very pleasantly surprised when it turned out to more like…10 days. Not 10 business days, just 10 days, as stated (which I should’ve assumed instead, since “business days” was never mentioned at all). It was delivered week after I’d ordered! However, it was a package that had to be signed for, and no one was home when it was delivered, so it was off to the post office to pick it up. Still, 10 days, though. 10 DAYS YOU GUYS OKAY

Finally, the eyeshadows. I pretty much had to get I Dream of Greenie after seeing Leesha’s swatches (which, in my opinion, make the colors look a bit more saturated than they actually are; Christine’s are a bit more desaturated, but lighter). I, in all my hubris, am convinced that mine are the perfect middle ground of swatchiness.

Because I’m the best swatcher of all time, obviously

You can believe the hype for once! Yay hype. I do love Wet ‘n Wild’s eyeshadows (I also have the Vanity sextuplet, which I use almost every time I do makeup, no joke). To be sure, the lightest shade is sheerer than the other two, which is to be expected and actually preferred (that’d be a serious highlight), but can be built up; the chartreuse has more of a matte base underneath the shimmer, with a minuscule hint of powderiness that sits on the skin. Like most super-light shades that have some sort of undertone, that undertone (in this case green) isn’t going to be obvious when applied, but it does coordinate with cool shades rather than warm shades, for example, which is pretty kewl, yo. (Yeah, I ran out of words to express my ideas. Sorry.)

Oh, and, y’know, here’s Curaçao.

I purchased Curaçao for two reasons.

  1. Green Iguana (wait for the swatches if you’re still unconvinced, even after looking at it just in the pan, JUST WAIT)
  2. Although my dad is Venezuelan and was born in Caracas, he spent some time growing up in Curaçao, if I’m remembering correctly. When I was a kid, he would tell stories of when he’d go to what he called Poo[p(y)] Island, which…is Curaçao, I have since ascertained. I can’t remember why the hell he called it that, besides something being brown, God knows what. I’d ask him about it now because journalism and fact-checking, but whenever I consider asking my parents about their pasts, it seems weird because we’ve spent the better part of two decades together and I still don’t know? I AM A HORRIBLE CHILD. And such is being neurotic, I’m going to end this number list now.

All of the shadows are named after alcoholic drinks, which I probably should find offensive, but I like alcohol, so I don’t. (Can you mail alcohol? If so, send it to my P.O. box, please. Message me for details!) Once again, there is quality in these eyeshadows (and also a double-sided sponge-tip applicator in the little indent, but screw those. Sponge-tip applicators : makeup brushes :: piercing guns : needles).

I lied about being a good swatcher

Left to right, all over bare skin: Tequila Sunrise is a stunning, shimmery orange that I can find no fault in. Martini is a basic, high-shimmer white, but it’s smooth and wonderfully pigmented. Blue Hawaiian, unfortunately, got the short end of the matte stick. It also feels silky, but the pigmentation is…difficult and it has to be built up, but it’d perform better over a primer. The color is a very pretty, minty blue. Bloody Mary is a matte orange-based red. I tend to prefer blue-based reds, but there’s nothing wrong with Bloody Mary (whose initials are unfortunate) per se. Screwdriver is…lemony yellow? Wait, why is it yellow? Both my mother and I were wondering this. I get that the color of orange juice isn’t like, neon orange, but this doesn’t even make any effort to have any red tones in it whatsoever. But yeah, matte, lemony yellow (not citrus orange). Green Iguana is my new favorite anything. A very blue-based green, it bears a passing resemblance to the middle shade from I Dream of Greenie, but it’s HELLOOOOO LOOK AT THAT COORDINATING SHIMMER.

I included Green Iguana again because FUCK YOU THAT’S WHY

Left to right, still/again/always: Apres (Après?) Midori is a yellow-toned, lightly shimmery green. Blue Lagoon is a matte, medium cyan-blue with some dimness thrown in to level out the brightness. Purple Haze–wait, I thought these were named after alcoholic drinks? I mean, this is an intoxicant, to be sure, but it’s certainly not alcohol…umm. After some more Googling, I’m just going to assume that Sleek means the Purple Haze brand of beer. Ahem. It’s a matte, basic purple, mostly neutral but leaning more red than blue. Green Martini is a hazy, desaturated, olive-y green. It reminds me of MAC’s Greensmoke. Singapore Sling is my least favorite of these shadows, only because it’s pink, and I don’t wear pink unless it’s intense (MAC’s Process Magenta, I fucking love you). I am so inexperienced with pink–which I haven’t liked since, oh, sixth grade–that I can’t definitively tell you if  this is neutral, blue-based, or yellow-based without opening up GIMP’s color selector. And, doing so, it turns out that Singapore Sling is…uh, blue? Which makes sense, considering that it has a subtle, blue-violet sheen. D’oh. Last up is Espresso Martini. I didn’t know espresso martinis existed, but I guess they do. Again, I’m going to mention my mother in a tangent (I was showing her this palette, you know, because I have to constantly talk about makeup or else I’ll go into a coma): I mentioned my ignorance of espresso martinis and how I found it bizarre that there’d be a caffeinated alcoholic drink…but then I remembered Four Loko. I was telling my mom how it’s strange to let espresso martinis exist (I guess, since when have I ever seen anyone ever drinking one) when Four Lokos were banned until they had the caffeine taken out. Without her even saying anything, I explained how, “The people selling alcohol to minors should be punished, not…minors….” and then I left the room with my tail in between my legs (figuratively; I’m not a catgirl, desu). So, Espresso Martini is a matte black. I was looking at this in the palette, thinking, Man, I never use black eyeshadow, what am I going to do with this? but I’d heard good things about the matte blacks in Sleek palettes. This black…is different. I think the swatch speaks for itself on this matter.

Curaçao is a good palette; it was about $10, so I definitely feel it was a great value, with only two shades I probably won’t use–in other words, a dollar per shadow. The packaging doesn’t hurt, either.

Bonus surprise lip stuff! I got a free sample with my Sleek order. I evidently chose this (hell if I can remember anything I did two weeks ago):

A mini-sized High Shine lip gloss in Sweet Sixteen. Okay, yeah, I just said I don’t like pink, so why did I choose this? Seriously, I don’t remember exactly, but I think it was because, eh, it’s a freebie, I’ll get it in pink ‘cuz I don’t have pink shit already. When I found it in the package, this was my facial expression:


Then I opened it.


I’m just going to stick photos here while I sniff it like a madwoman asdfghjkl;

Sheer but sparkles

Okay okay. I know I said I’d put that look in this post, but I hadn’t anticipated this post being 2,479 2,785 2,455 2,484 2,460 2,492 2,463 2,466 (WordPress’s word count can’t make up its mind, which scares me) words long (edit: just-been-published page says 2,488!). Next one, promise.


About Helena

I'm too Internet-old for this.
This entry was posted in Beauty, Hauls, Makeup, Nail Polish. Bookmark the permalink.

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